Comic Relief - Act One

I was recently going through some of my dad's old comic books. There are a few still in decent shape - but the majority have lost their covers & are falling apart. From these I clipped the following offers. I can't help but think of my friend Kirk & his short film about the false expectations that these companies hold out like Lucy and Charlie Brown's football.

"It's huge, over 3 ft. high, approx. 23 cu. ft. interior, covers almost 9 sq. ft. of floor space"

Huge?! C'mon! Check out the age range of 4 to 14! Any 14 year old that can fit in this cardboard cabin is gonna be walking around with it hanging on him like a sandwich board. This thing can't be much larger than a microwave oven.

Notice my dad filled out the order form - thankfully my grandparents enlightened him to the folly of such an investment.

From the looks of the picture - this projector is only about 4 times as wide as the actual 8mm film tape.

You can click on any of these images to enlarge & read the sensational sales pitch. They also make cool desktop backgrounds. Once you click & enlarge, just right click on the image and select "Set as Background". Anyways - here's what this one says (with my own commentary added):

Here's high powered speed combined with the thundering excitement of the "Hot Rod" class. Powered by it's own electric motors [that's right, it takes two piston pumpin' bad boys to make this cat scream], this marvelous automotive miracle [wait - did they say, "miracle"? Miracle?! Miracle.] will give you a thrill as it zooms along at tremendous scale speeds. Realistic in detail, it's great fun to build and even more fun to race up and down courses, over hills and on the thundering straightaway. Imagine [because it will never be reality] the thrill as this speed-merchant outraces all the other kids in the neighborhood. And [did we mention already...] it's great fun to build. Complete with all [i.e., both] parts and instructions. Only $1 plus 25 cent shipping charges. [we'll send you your change]

It's fun - it's exciting. It's high speed. [It's a rip off even by QVC standards.]

I've got several other comic ads to show you... I'll save them for next time. But in the meantime, check out Kirk's blog category of mail order madness. Besides, he writes much better than I.